My exams are officially over! I’m so happy at the moment that I can’t find the words to express it. To my fellow students still writing, good luck! To all those with me on holiday, I say viva la freedom! So I thought about this last night, what I can remember of the men in my life leaves me laughing, disappointed, confused and just down right giddy when I allow myself that brief moment of nostalgia. I thought I would capture these moments and times in my life in blog form, for funs sake, and who knows, maybe one of you can explain events and change my world as I know it. #hereshoping (Please don’t hate. Yes, I used a hashtag; yes, I dislike myself for it right now. Let’s continue).

Do forgive me because much of my childhood is a blur to me. I think it has something to do with my brain trying to protect me from the terrible things I did. Some sort of self preservation thing I suspect, in order to keep a positive self image, there’s much I need to forgo in terms of my past. That being said, here we go.

The first worth a mention is Otten (not his real name). I didn’t really notice him until I started my friendship with an incredibly intelligent friend of mine at the time. We’ll call her Marie (as in Marie Curie). Marie’s mother had many close friends, this was mostly because there is only a limited amount of people in Johannesburg with their religious choice. Her mom established a way to bring everyone together through their religion, which I thought was absolutely lovely. So anyway, Marie had a family friend, Pora is his name (and not for the reason you think). Pora and Otten were inseparable.

Both Pora and Otten were in my school, in my grade in fact. When I started my friendship with Marie, Pora was around a lot, and by extension, so was Otten. He was obviously part of the ‘in-group’ in school, which I shared no membership. I was way to…me…to fit in so I kind of accepted my permanent ‘out-group’ status. I suppose, after time and time again of seeing someone, you either grow an overwhelming urge to kill them, or a semi decent attraction to them. I had formed the latter and once I had that, it was overs.

I noticed everything he did, everything he didn’t do and I tried to do everything right, and at the right times, to get him to like me. I don’t know how, but somehow it seemed to work because one day during first break… or in the period before school starts, he asked me out.

Looking back, it was probably the worst girlfriend proposition I have ever experienced. He pulled me aside and said “so I know you like me, and I kind of like you. So do you want to go out?” I was obviously too excited that the boy I liked was willing to have me on his shoulder to notice. I was too excited to notice that he had asked me out, but managed to do so in a way that it seemed like a charity case. So anyway, we started dating. And it lasted until second break the next day. No word of lie.

As far as I remember, the girls in the ‘in-group’ found out that he had a new girlfriend and wanted to know who he was courting. I didn’t want anyone to know, don’t ask me why, I was young and stupid. Eventually they found out and I was miff about it. One day, in maths class, I was handing out something for the teacher when Marie gave me a piece of paper with her and Otten’s writing scribbled on it. Ahh, the days before phone, I kinda miss them. So basically, Mary blamed Otten for the school finding out. Otten said that maybe we should just take it back then and Mary said fine.

So there you go, from being asked out like some sort of make-a-wish charity case to having my best friend negotiate ending terms with my day long boyfriend. Shortest relationship I had ever had. Anyone care to share theirs?