Because of my enigmatic ability to ward off boys, I kept whatever innocence I had until my first legitimate boyfriend at 16. It was also until this age that I managed to fend off boys from defiling my mouth with theirs. When asked about my first kiss, i think of two occasions. One is the first, purely in technicality. The other was my second kiss technically, but still takes first for me personally. Let me explain.


I was determined to have a special first kiss. So special, in fact, that it would evoke ‘oohs’ and ‘awwws’ at the regaling of my tale. I wanted a story I could tell my children. But instead, the story of my first kiss was one of woe and discomfort. So essentially because of my desire to have a noteworthy first kiss, I rejected many hopefuls. But maybe i shouldn’t have, no doubt at least one of them would have been able to actually give me my desired perfect first kiss story. So i stood my ground until one day.


My family and I went away to Crystal Springs. A place where the mountains meet the sky and there was mist all year round. A place where night is met with a an unparalleled darkness, and all that can be seen in the night sky is the brightly lit moon and stars.  I was in a place of wonder. Maybe that’s why i allowed myself to get swept up and make bad life decisions, ’cause I’m sure as shit that it wasn’t the people driving the behavior. The people being a group of 3 Afrikaners, consisting of two boys and a girl. Let me be perfectly clear, i have no problem with the Afrikaans. Me being half their kind and all. But these Afrikaners, in particular, were ridiculous humans. But i was young and longing for excitement and fun beyond the daily pool visits with relatives.


I met the Afrikaners at the aforementioned resort pool one clear skied and sunny day. Soon after we played tennis, Foosball and games of truth and dare. The week continued and we met up at predetermined times at specific locations. One of which was the resort spa, the hall with the Jacuzzi to be more specific. This particular day i had arranged to get a leg wax as i was sporting a winter coat. Because of my participation in the painful ritual that is the leg wax, i did arrive at the Jacuzzi later than the others. Never the less, when i did finally arrive, i proceeded to strip down to my bathing suit and enjoy the warmth and bubbles of the Jacuzzi. There is only so much a bunch of teenagers can do to keep entertained in an enclosed area. The Afrikaans girl and I spent some time jumping from the Jacuzzi to the sauna and back. Unfortunately, the time came for her to leave and I was left with the two misfit boys. They weren’t much for conversation, but then again, what 16 year old boy is? So naturally, they reverted back to their staple game of choice, truth or dare.


It started innocently enough, but as it progressed, it started to loose its innocence, and quite frankly, its appeal. Eventually, I expressed a desire to go home and de-prune. To which the boys provided me with one final dare, but this one was to be one that they would decide jointly. Their catch however, was that there was not going to be an alternative dare. Essentially meaning that I had to go through with it. I naively agreed and they presented their dare.

“You have to find out who, of the two of us, is the better kisser.”

Instant regret. I reach for their phones across the water. They both exclaim, what are you doing?

“Well i’m going to call your ex’s and find out who has more favorable references. That person is the better kisser of the two of you.” So clever am I, right? What a way to get out of their obvious call for me to kiss them both in this soup of teenage hormones. And just as i though i had made it out without having to go through with it, they asked why i was being so strange about kissing them. They asked if it was my first kiss.


I became mortified, almost instantly. Without a word i kissed the one, and then the other. They asked who was the better kisser. To which i replied, “The dare was to find out who was the better kisser, not to tell you who it is.”. And with that, i left. With my first kiss stolen from me, i left the Jacuzzi and walked back to the room, questioning every life decision that brought me to this point. Needless to say, i became different with the boys for the rest of the trip and arrived home from the holiday with a story of my first kiss.